![]() “It would be shocking to most people how divergent these statements can end up sounding-like they’re speaking two different languages.” ![]() I ask Partner A to make a statement and I ask Partner B to repeat back, in their own words, what Partner A said,” he explains. “There’s a technique I use in couples therapy that I might want to try with Rachel and Ross. ![]() Here's how Sam would work through the issue if Ross and Rachel were sitting in his office. So, let’s put TV's favorite couple in the hot seat. I see this in couples all the time: They end up fighting about some transgression that’s actually beside the point.” “Sleeping with Chloe, while understandably hurtful to Rachel, is really incidental here and symptomatic of their poor communication,” he says. Why Cheaters Cheat, as Explained by Science."So, a lot of these arguments that couples have is a way for them to establish themselves as a separate person that stands for something different from their partner.” “When you’re in a relationship, your identity and who you are become blurred because you become a unit," she explains. Yoon adds that the reason they both chose being right may have been because they felt they were losing their individual senses of self in the relationship. “In this situation, what they’re choosing is to be right.” Either you’re going to choose the relationship and the connection, or you’re going to choose to be right,” Kane tells Cosmo. “You can’t choose being right over the relationship. There’s no “winner” in their argument because neither of them fought fairly. To psychotherapist Yoon Kane, LCSW, founder and CEO at Mindful Psychotherapy, Ross and Rachel shouldn’t have been fighting over who was right and who was wrong. It’s only when these subjectivities can engage in a dialogue that we’re able to maintain healthy communication and therefore healthy relationships.” Ross thought they had broken up, and he was right. Rachel thought they were on a break, and she was right. “Our respective subjectivities are our reality. “Healthy communication seems to be lacking in their relationship,” Sam tells Cosmo. Sam Talone, LCSW, psychotherapist and couples therapist, echoes Douglas’s sentiments about their severe lack of communication. Rachel was not specific therefore, she did leave room for interpretation for Ross to believe that they were broken up,” Douglas tells Cosmo.“She should have said, ‘Let’s take a time-out.’ That’s the word that we use in couples therapy and anger management. ![]() People take the word ‘break’ and they’re not intentional about what they mean about a break. Will Going On a Dating Show Kill My Relationship?.There’s also the fact that Ross is jealous of Mark, Rachel’s handsome male coworker, and constantly questioning his motives. They both have valid reasons to be upset: Ross thinks she’s prioritizing work over their relationship, while Rachel thinks he’s disrespecting her newfound career independence. In the episode, Ross and Rachel get into a fight when she bails on their anniversary dinner to stay late at work. Since the internet can’t come to a conclusion, I asked three couples therapists to weigh in.īut first, here’s a bit of a refresher. It begins in season 3, episode 15, “The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break.” The title of the episode is kind of an answer-but what does that really mean? With the 25th anniversary of the Friends pilot coming up on September 22, it’s time to find out once and for all. “The Break” is one of the longest-running gags of the series. But the mystery still stands: Were Ross and Rachel officially broken up when he hooked up with Chloe from the copy place? It’s a nuanced situation that fans still can’t agree on. There are no more divisive words in television history than “We were on a break!”-Ross Geller’s defensive, impassioned battle cry was the scream heard ’round the world for nearly 10 seasons and 236 episodes of Friends.
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